where am i?

sometimes do you wake up and go outside and have an experience with someone else, ostensibly another human being, and wonder "what planet am i on?"

sometimes i feel like what is real to me is sooooo different than what is real to others.  sometimes that happens right under the same roof, and that can make a rough time of it.  i struggle with where i am with respect to the world i live in, and while i know i am perfectly placed, it sometimes seems as if the incongruent nature of what i feel just cannot be right.  and then, i set about trying to adjust or re-adjust myself to fit better in what i see around me or, at least, with what i am feeling.

astrologically, i chalk a lot of those feelings, which i've had my entire life, to venus retrograde and my sun being sandwiched in a tight conjunction with pluto and uranus, and, perhaps even saturn retrograde.   i realize that it is a constant struggle of adjustment and learning, changing and transforming that propels our growth to master that which we have come to learn.  perhaps today i it is just my impatience at understanding the effect of my causes that i am feeling.

being in the moment of this one that is, you are in the position of both cause and effect, and one informs the other in this very moment.  your actions as you go out into the world create an effect that informs your next cause, and your cause creates your next effect.  discernment and understanding of the disparity, and its source, is where i am presently focused for myself.

disparity of intention -- "am i true to what i really want?", or, "am i honoring my truth?"  if one does not know why they are doing what they are doing, or are deluded they are doing something for "this" reason, but in truth they are doing it for "that" reason, and they cannot embody "that" reason for some miscued self-judgment, illusion or insecurity, causes an effect that leaves one scratching their head saying, "yep, i deserved that lump!"

mis-perception of "reality" -- this is one area that i am truly guilty of as i often myopically see reality around me with my 'rose colored glasses' and am often very innocent of the ways of this reality.  that, of course, everyone knows and understands that war is violence ... but they do not.  they really and truly do not see that as reality.

and then, if the former is properly aligned and only the latter remains, there is a way to transcend even the greatest mis-perception of "reality".  i think if you can be so purely in your truth, that any mis-perception you may have of "reality" becomes irrelevant, and you then can become the creator of reality based solely on your perception and "reality" instantaneously morphs into alignment with "your reality."

does this make sense?  i guess i'll have to read it in a couple of months to see if it truly does.

until next time,

peace & harmony,
elaine
'freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'